How To Deal With A Controlling Person Biblically

Dealing with controlling people can feel tough, especially if you want to follow Christ Jesus and stay humble. Many of us face this challenge at some point. Research shows that people who act controlling often struggle with pride or may even have signs of a narcissistic personality disorder.

In this post, I’ll share simple ways to notice early warning signs, use scripture like Matthew 18:15 and the fruit of the Spirit for guidance, and set healthy boundaries—all while showing love as Jesus taught.

Keep reading to see how the Bible helps us handle these hard relationships with wisdom and care.

Characteristics of a Controlling Person

A controlling person often tries to take charge in ways that leave you feeling small or unheard. Their actions can challenge your patience and even test your faith—but the Bible gives us clear guidance on how to respond with humility, compassion, and discernment through the Holy Spirit.

Self-absorbed

Self-absorbed people often think only about their own needs and feelings. I notice how their actions can show covetousness or even pride, like what happened with Cain in Genesis. He cared more about his own offering than pleasing our Lord.

This self-focus leads to ignoring others’ pain, even as they claim friendship or faith.

Jesus taught humility and said blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Such a heart goes against controlling and selfish behavior. I remind myself that Christ’s love calls us to be selfless, not selfish like Judas or selfish leaders we read about in Christian theology.

The Holy Spirit helps me see my self-worth is found in serving God, not thinking only of myself or letting someone else act unethically toward me or others.

Insensitive towards others

Insensitive people rarely show care for the needs or feelings of others. I often notice their words hurt, and they do not seem to see it. They might ignore my thoughts in group talks or make jokes that cross into emotional abuse without regret.

Christ calls me to love my enemies, but ignoring wrongful acts and sins is not loving either. In Matthew 7:6, Jesus warned His disciples about sharing what is holy with those who trample on it; this reminds me how sometimes setting boundaries shows true care.

I see examples like Laban tricking Jacob, caring little for Rachel and Leah’s feelings, just using them for his own gain. People with narcissism can act this way too, focusing only on their enjoyment or reputation while forgetting God’s command—”You shall have no other gods before Me.” The Apostle Paul faced rejection and wrath from people who cared nothing about his beliefs or apostleship; still he showed grace while refusing to let their sinful actions change his mission.

I pray daily for wisdom so that I can respond in a christlike way—even if someone seems hard-hearted—because Jesus’ ministry was rooted in truth and forgiveness rather than coldness or hate.

Manipulative

A manipulative person often uses lies or half-truths to control others. Sometimes, they twist words or facts to get their own way, even if it causes harm. I see this in the Bible with Satan tempting Adam and Eve in Genesis.

He told a lie that seemed close to truth, but his goal was sinning and stopping them from reaching the glory of God.

Jesus Christ warns us about people who try to mislead, as seen in Matthew 10:16—He tells me to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. In my life, I must spot these tricks early by insisting on truth-telling and praying for wisdom.

Truth brings purification; lies only bring transgression and fear.

Pushes to get their own way

Controlling people often push and demand to get what they want. They may talk over others, ignore wise mentors like Moses or Joshua, or twist the truth. I notice how these people can be like Esau in Genesis, who sold his birthright out of hunger for control and comfort.

Sometimes they use anger or guilt to force a decision, which does not show love your enemies as Jesus taught in John 3:16.

Their actions can harm relationships at church, home, or work. It worries me seeing this even among Christians—sometimes someone might misuse verses such as “I am the Lord your God” to justify their way.

The Bible speaks of many who tried to take charge for selfish gain; think about Absalom’s actions against David or Cain’s jealousy of Abel. God calls us to pray instead for wisdom and courage so we do not fall into such traps ourselves but seek redemption through God’s word and prayer.

Ways to Deal With a Controlling Person Biblically

God calls me to handle tough people with wisdom, so I learn from stories like Isaac and Rebekah, use psalms such as “the Lord is my shepherd,” and trust prayer for strength—keep reading for guidance rooted in the Bible.

Set appropriate boundaries

I follow the Word of Faith and see how Jesus set clear limits with people. I must protect myself from physical abuse, harsh words, or anyone acting like they have demon possession over my choices.

If someone tries to control or guilt me using heaven, eternal life, or even stories about sinners in Revelations, I kindly step back. The Lord is my shepherd; He guides me—not another person’s anger.

Setting boundaries does not mean being rude. I speak up if pressured against what I know is right from Matthew 16:4 or if someone acts like Isaac’s mother Rebekah trying to push her own way for Jacob with Zilpah and Bilhah.

Sometimes that means making space for prayer or waiting before answering an inbox message that feels manipulative. I trust God has predestined peace for His children in the promised land—and strong boundaries help keep it that way in a Pentecostal church setting too.

Insist on truth-telling

I speak up for honesty, even if it makes others angry. Jesus taught us to speak the truth with love. If a controlling person lies or twists facts, I do not ignore it. Instead, I tell them kindly but clearly that falsehood damages trust.

Some people fear telling the truth because they want to control how things look. The Bible warns about deceivers and even calls the anti-christ a master of lies. By insisting on honest words in conversations, I follow Christ’s example and show respect for both God and people involved.

This helps keep my boundaries firm without falling into manipulative traps or dispensational confusion about right and wrong.

Rebuke with love

I find that Jesus rebuked Peter with love in Matthew 16:23. He spoke the truth but did not shame Peter. In my own life, I try to speak up when a controlling person hurts others or me.

I use kind words and a gentle tone; this helps keep peace without giving up the truth.

The Bible says to forgive as God forgave me, so I also try to empathize with those who act out of fear or hurt. Love should guide my actions, even if it means saying hard things. Galatians 6:1 reminds me to restore others gently whenever they slip, always keeping watch over myself too.

Pray for wisdom and guidance

God gives wisdom to those who ask. I turn to prayer and seek the Holy Spirit’s help before dealing with a controlling person. In difficult times, I read the Bible—James 1:5 tells me that God gladly gives wisdom.

I also ask Jesus for guidance so my words can show truth and love. Through prayer, my heart finds peace, even if things feel tense or hard to handle. Prayer keeps me patient and calm while relying on God’s strength instead of trying to fix everything myself.

Conclusion

In this post, I shared how to spot a controlling person and use the Bible to deal with them. Setting clear boundaries, telling the truth, correcting in love, and asking for wisdom are key steps.

These strategies are simple yet effective; anyone can try them today. Using advice from Matthew 18 and Proverbs helps bring peace in tough times. Prayer gives strength for these moments—I have used it myself and felt real change by trusting Jesus step by step.

FAQs

1. What does the Bible say about dealing with a controlling person?

The Bible advises us to respond with love and patience towards a controlling person, reminding us that everyone is created in God’s image. It encourages open communication, forgiveness, and setting healthy boundaries.

2. How can I apply biblical principles when dealing with a controlling person?

Applying biblical principles means showing kindness and understanding while maintaining your own integrity. Stand firm in your beliefs but also listen to their concerns – this balance reflects the wisdom found in Proverbs.

3. Can prayer help me deal with a controlling individual biblically?

Absolutely! Prayer not only offers comfort, it also invites divine guidance into challenging situations like these. The Bible often highlights the power of prayer in resolving conflicts and building stronger relationships.

4. Are there any specific scriptures that guide on handling control issues?

Yes, numerous scriptures provide guidance on this matter such as Galatians 5:22-23 which speaks about self-control as one of the fruits of the Spirit or Proverbs 15:1 which emphasizes gentle answers turning away wrath.