What Does The Bible Say Concerning Broken Friendships And Their Restoration?

Friendship is a gift from God. When God created Adam, He also thought that Adam would need company, so He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner” (Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”). Then, God created animals for Adam to care for and a woman, Eve, to accompany Adam.

Since the beginning of time, God didn’t want us to be lonely. He cares for us, so he wants us to have friends. God knows that we need friends to help us when we are in trouble. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, it says “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him who is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”

I would like to share the story of my broken friendship and how God helped me restore it. When I was in college, my best friend and I got into an argument, which led us to a separation. For several months, we never talked or even looked at each other. It was a terrible fight. I was in despair, and I knew it was my fault. I tried to apologize, but she did not want to listen to me. I started to lose hope, and began to gradually accept that our friendship could never be restored.

One Friday afternoon, I was invited by a co-member of an organization to join a youth worship service. I initially declined the invitation, but she insisted, so I accepted. After the worship service, we were asked to arrange ourselves into small groups of six members. Then, my groupmates started to share their problems. When it was my turn to share, I began to cry. I told them about the terrible fight I’d had with my best friend. They gave their pieces of advice, and then we split up into pairs. 

My partner asked me, “Can I pray for you?”

“Yes”, I answered, but at the back of my mind, I was saying, “I do not believe in prayers.”

“What do you want me to pray for you?” she asked.

I replied, “I just want my best friend back.”

My partner then prayed for me and I did the same for her. After that, I went home immediately. I didn’t even think about the prayer until a message popped up on my phone. It was from my best friend. I hurriedly opened and read the message. She apologized and said that she wanted our friendship back, at which point we reconciled. 

Since that day, I have believed in the power of prayer. I also realized that God had just been there, waiting for me to ask for His help. Although I did not ask for His help, He still found a way to help me. It was God’s plan for me to attend that worship service. He knew that it was the only way for me to open up and ask for His help through prayer. 

It is important for us to take care of our friends. As much as possible, we need to avoid getting into arguments. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as ye do.” Our friends are there to help us build ourselves up, not destroy ourselves. Hence, we should do the same for them.

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Proverbs 18:19 A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.). When we argue with our friends, it can be hard to get them back, but not impossible.

We can restore our broken friendships by asking for help from God. In 1 Peter 5:7, it says, “Cast all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.” Only God can help us restore a broken friendship. Hence, we have to lean on Him. 

If we cannot soften the heart of our offended friend, then God certainly can. “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.). When you go back to my story, you can see how this exact thing happened to me. I almost gave up on my best friend because she didn’t listen to my apology, but God touched her heart and she apologized to me.

In restoring a broken friendship, it is important for us to admit our faults and apologize to our offended friend. James 5:16 says, “Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. . .”

If one of your friendships is suffering right now, do not dwell in despair. Do not lose hope. In Matthew 19:26, Jesus said, “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible”. If you think your broken friendship is impossible to restore, then leave it to God, for nothing is impossible with Him.