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How Do You Deal With A Breakup In A Godly Way?

Breaking up can be a difficult, intense, emotionally draining process regardless of the circumstances. Thankfully, many people find comfort and guidance in their Christian faith during times of uncertainty and can even discover which steps they should take following a breakup.

In the wake of a split, it’s important to recognize that healing and closure are critical elements both for protecting your mental health and also starting fresh as an individual or potentially with someone else. Let’s explore how Christians can approach breakups in a way that is respectful but also allows room for grace and forgiveness.

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

Dealing with Breakups in a Godly Way

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

Although breakups can often be difficult and psychologically painful, it’s possible to learn how to cope with them in a godly way. With God’s help, we can find ways to grieve our expectations, forgive others, embrace the adventure ahead, and seek healing for ourselves.

Fighting Against Bitterness

Dealing with the emotions after a breakup can be difficult, even more so if you hope to remain true to your faith. As Christians, it’s important for us to not give in to bitterness. Instead, we should strive for peace and understanding amidst heartache.

One of the most powerful ways of fighting this bitterness is by living according to Romans 12:18 (CSB): “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This teaches us that no matter what someone else has done wrong or how much pain we may feel, our response should always be focused on kindness and love rather than revenge or bitterness.

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

It’s also vital to avoid gossiping about your ex or longing for them anymore—any negative pining will only further fuel feelings of resentment, which aren’t conducive to a godly approach to dealing with breakups.

Again and again, the Bible emphasizes the power of prayer in combating anything negative: Praying for guidance helps bring perspective in times of difficulty, and trusting God’s plan during hard times sets an example for others who are also struggling.

Assuming the Best in the Other Person’s Motives

It’s natural to become hurt and bitter after a breakup, but we need to fight against these feelings so that our emotions don’t take control of our actions. One way we can fight is by assuming the best in the other person’s motives as we strive to stay connected with Christ through trust and faith. This kind of thinking helps us look beyond any failures or wrongdoings. Then, we can explore the reasons behind feelings of brokenness while attempting to understand someone else’s side without allowing resentment-affected judgments to come into play.

Taking this approach also helps us realize how fruits from the Spirit such as love, patience, and kindness are essential when aiming for a proper resolution.

Finding Your Identity in Christ

When faced with the pain of a breakup, believers must remember that their identity is found in Jesus Christ, who can strengthen them to move on. God’s Word is clear about our faith being rooted in Him instead of any other person or tangible thing, such as money, possessions, or relationships.

Believers should romantically pursue Christ first before another human because only through Him are we granted identity (Colossians 1:16-17). This is where true joy comes from when the relationship begins and where it continues to flow from even after the relationship has ended: knowing someone deeply loves us and that we are never alone despite what happens.

Finding your identity in Christ also means finding strength in God’s Word during difficult times. Spending quality time with His Word can reveal that you have an incredible purpose gifted to you by your loving creator. When fear rises due to a debilitating heartbreak, Paul encourages young believers to not be anxious but draw near to God for safety (Philippians 4:6-8).

Remembering Your Responsibility to Do Good to All Christians

This is an essential part of dealing with a breakup in a godly way. As Christians, we are called to love others as Christ loves us—even our ex-partner. A breakup can be incredibly emotional and difficult, but choosing how you respond will show the world who you’re honoring: God or yourself.

Doing this in a godly way requires patience, self-control, and humility, which are all virtues that come from the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Doing good to someone who has wronged you is especially challenging but ultimately necessary for sanctification (1 Peter 3:8-9).

It’s important to think about your interactions after a breakup through the lens of Scripture. Don’t act on any impulses, such as speaking badly of your ex-partner online or harboring thoughts full of envy or anger (Romans 12:17-19).

Finding Healing and Moving on With God’s Help

It’s possible to heal and move on from a breakup by receiving guidance from the Holy Spirit, seeking support from loved ones, releasing anger and forgiving, and trusting in God’s plan.

Seeking Comfort and Crying

It can often be difficult to come to terms with the pain and loneliness after a breakup. On this journey of trying to heal, take time out to express your sorrow, cry if need be, and seek comfort in God’s presence.

The Bible records many instances of people crying out with various emotions, such as Job, who cried out because of his suffering (Job 6:10-20). Crying can be seen as an expression that helps us connect our hearts back with our spirits as we seek attention from Heaven.

Ultimately, by allowing ourselves time and space for grief, we get the opportunity not just to lament but open up on a deeper level to God’s restorative presence. Cried-out prayers invite us into communion with Him so that His Spirit can bring peace where there may be hurt or despair.

Praying for Guidance and Trust

Prayer is an incredibly powerful tool for seeking guidance and comfort in our lives, especially during a time of heartbreak. Psalm 34:18 (NIV) says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” When dealing with a breakup, we should remember that God promises to draw near to us if we will turn to Him.

Praying for wisdom, discernment, understanding, and strength when going through this difficult season can help remind us why turning away from unhealthy relationships or toward stronger ones is a noble pursuit.

Praying for wisdom, discernment, understanding, and strength when going through this difficult season can help remind us why turning away from unhealthy relationships or toward stronger ones is a noble pursuit.

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

Additionally, having faith that God really does have our best interest at heart during times of grief also helps build trust as we seek healing. As Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV) declares, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” 

Praying can offer peace and assurance as it subtly points us back toward trusting the loving plan He has for each one of our lives even amidst the hurtful aftermaths that breakups often produce.

Writing a “Reality” List

Writing a “reality” list can help you begin the healing process after a painful breakup. In addition to praying for guidance and trusting in God’s plan, taking time to construct an honest list of thoughts and feelings surrounding the breakup is integral to working through hard emotions in a biblical way.

Acknowledging that you’re not alone in this difficult situation can be extremely comforting, as many aspects of grief are shared by others who have been hurt before. When partnered with Scripture such as Psalm 147:3, which speaks about finding strength and comfort from God during times of distress, creating this kind of inventory begins to piece together how He uses brokenness for His glory.

Writing your thoughts down allows you to get perspective on unpacked sentiment or even discover new revelations about yourself or why things had to end. This will ultimately lead you closer to God while helping reduce guilt and shame associated with sadness or anger.

Trusting in God’s Plan

Trusting God’s plan is a crucial part of the healing process after a breakup. It can be hard to understand why things didn’t work out, but it’s important to remember that God has a greater purpose, and He will never forget about us in our time of need.

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

Psalm 13:5-6 (ESV) reminds us “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.” 

As you seek to trust in God’s character, remember to pray when you feel weak, and spend time tending to your mental health. Write down hopeful expectations while reflecting on the past. This will help bring clarity for what lies ahead as well as peace within yourself when you come to terms with letting go.

Seeking Support From Church Leaders and Loved Ones

Praying for guidance and trusting God’s plan can help us find healing after such difficult times. However, surrounding ourselves with people who love and care for us and around whom we feel secure makes it easier to cope with our emotions.

Likewise, church leaders can provide much-needed spiritual counsel and support. They offer wise advice that reminds us of our identity in Christ and provides helpful perspectives on how to use this difficult situation for our spiritual growth.

Church leaders are also trustworthy confidants who can restore hope after a breakup, reminding us that God loves us deeply no matter what happens in life and giving words of encouragement when it seems there is no hope left.

Releasing Anger and Forgiving

Anger is a common emotion when going through a breakup, whether it’s due to feelings of rejection, abandonment, or disappointment. In light of this, Christians must be intentional in how they manage and release that anger so as not to become bitter along the way.

Perhaps an old adage states it best—letting your “yes be yes” and your “no be no.” This means having honest and direct conversations with yourself and with God about what you need in order to forgive someone. You don’t want to end up harboring worries about any potential negative reactions you might have in a face-to-face interaction with another party involved in the breakup.

Being gracious and loving during communication can also help in releasing anger healthily while soothing pain experienced post-breakup. If we cannot bring ourselves to forget our worries surrounding forgiving another person, we’re being held captive by things out of our control and thus neglecting our responsibility as believers—to do good toward all Christians (Galatians 6:10).

Connecting With Other Believers

After experiencing a breakup, connecting with other believers can be an invaluable opportunity to find comfort and healing. It’s important to have a support system in place that consists of family members and friends who will walk beside you through this difficult season.

By surrounding yourself with people who trust in God’s plan for your life and have experienced the struggles of heartbreak themselves, you are able to seek solace from their encouragement rather than turning to deeper despair alone.

By surrounding yourself with people who trust in God’s plan for your life and have experienced the struggles of heartbreak themselves, you are able to seek solace from their encouragement rather than turning to deeper despair alone.

How Do You Deal with a Breakup in a Godly Way?

The faith-based environment offers fellowship between individuals when processing pain or suffering. Being part of a church community provides opportunities for others to pray for guidance on your behalf. They can help shed light on any negative emotions that may arise during the recovery process.

Furthermore, it allows peers to come together to share experiences about dating and breakups. They can lean on one another’s wisdom, which should prove useful in finding common ground that ultimately bestows peace and unity.

Finding Hope and Joy Again

After a breakup, it can be difficult to imagine ever feeling joy or hope again. But when we place our faith in God’s love and purpose for us, His sustaining grace brings healing and hope, allowing us to find joy even when surrounded by heartbreak.

The psalmist says, “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness” (Psalm 30:11). Christians understand that life is filled with suffering as part of living in a fallen world, but being connected with Jesus also brings blessings of comfort, peace, and strength and ultimately leads us to a place of joy if we are willing to walk through the valley.

Finding this joyful place after a breakup may require taking care of ourselves: Meditating, talking with trusted friends, or engaging with online communities about our religious beliefs can all help deliver us from heartache.

Growing From the Experience

People may find it hard to look at the silver lining and focus on growth or healing. However, with God’s help, Christians can use this experience as an opportunity to mature in their faith and trust that He will bring hope and joy again. This is especially essential if you have any communication going forward post-breakup. In that case, maintaining respect takes precedence over one-sided discussions focused just on “winning” an argument or getting someone else onboard with your new point of view.

Finding healing means learning how to forgive despite whatever happened while dating—even if there were morally questionable choices made by either partner. Becoming more mature requires accepting another human’s faults even if you’re no longer spending time together.


Breaking up can be a difficult, painful season in your life. But by relying on God and taking the biblical approach to breakups, you can find peace and healing so you can move forward in life. When we turn to Scripture for advice, we find a solid foundation on which to work through our experiences. 

As we go through breakups or other challenges, it’s important to focus on how far God has brought us and what He has done rather than focusing solely on the pain of broken relationships. Our Savior Jesus Christ rose from the dead; nothing is impossible with Him! So learn now that whatever difficulties come your way, such as loss during a breakup, you should look forward with hope because His love will see you safely past them all into new divine journeys ahead

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