What Does The Bible Say About Remarrying After Divorce?

The author of the book of Hebrews tells us that marriage should always be honored by all people (Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.). That means that God intended marriage should be held in high esteem. Anything we do that defiles the value and purity of marriage is an assault on God’s honor. Many times, we prioritize our emotions, circumstances, preferences, or conflicts concerning the protection of our sacred vow in marriage. Marriage becomes all about “my needs” instead of “us and God.” There are couples who would rather end their marriage than stick with each other and solve the problem together. And if they choose later on to move on to another marriage, they may have the expectation that “this one” might be better than the previous. Then the vicious cycle of unsolved issues in marriage starts all over again, giving rise to another pattern of divorce and remarriage.

So, will God ever bless a second marriage? It depends upon how legitimately the marriage ended, based on biblical grounds. Basically, marriage ends in one of ways: death of a spouse and divorce. God hates divorce, and Scripture tells us of instances where God disapproves of remarriage after divorce.

The Bible tells us of only two circumstances that allow a person to marry again. One is the death of a spouse, and the other is after a couple is divorced due to sexual infidelity and one of the partners has died. Scripture is clear that whoever remarries apart from these biblically allowed conditions is committing adultery before God. 

In some wedding vows, there is that part where they vow to “exclusively cling to each other as long as we both shall live” or promise to be the lawful husband despite all odds “until death do us part.” These are vows that are not really expressed in the Bible in such specific words, but their core is biblical. Yes, marriage is supposed to be a relationship sanctioned by God and should never be broken by anybody, except through death. So does this mean that God will permit remarriage after the death of a spouse?

According to Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 concerning the death of a spouse, Scripture is clear that the spouses are bound to each other as long as they are living. The law of God when it comes to the marriage covenant is only effective while we are still living here on earth, and it loses its hold after death. Jesus even explicitly said that after the resurrection of the dead, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage but will be like angels in heaven. So, if one spouse dies, the surviving spouse can marry again. Before God, only the spouse’s death can fully dissolve the unbreakable bond of the marriage vow. One who enters into another romantic or marital relationship while the legal spouse is still alive commits adultery.

The Apostle Paul talked in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 and 1 Timothy 5:14 about widows and encouraged them to stay unmarried for the purpose of having the opportunity to serve God without the many concerns of marital duties. But he also encourages remarriage for the widows if they have been struggling with lust. Marriage opens up the delight of sexual intimacy, and the absence of or abstinence from it can make one crave it. Paul understands this kind of longing that, for some, becomes an overwhelming desire. That is why he advises widows (also applicable to widowers) to go ahead and get married rather than be consumed by sexual lust. 

Since death can end the marriage vow and God allows remarriage after, does this mean that a person can also remarry after divorce? God hates divorce, and Scripture tells us of instances in which God disapproves of remarriage after divorce. There are only two legitimate grounds for divorce, clearly expressed in the Bible: adultery (Matthew 19:3-6) and desertion of an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-16). Jesus said that anyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of sexual infidelity, and marries again is also committing adultery. It is clear that divorce due to adultery is the only grounds that God allows for one who is divorced to marry again. However, they still can remarry only when the partner they were married to dies. 

This mandate protects the sanctity of marriage and prevents trivial or solvable marital issues from prevailing over the unbreakable marriage bond. Marriage is very sacred and precious to God, and no problem that challenges unity in marriage should be reason enough to throw away this very important human covenant, which was established by God. Even in the case of adultery, God still encourages couples to choose forgiveness and reconciliation first before considering divorce.

What about the other biblical exceptions for divorce? Does God also allow remarriage after such grounds for divorce? In 1 Corinthians 7:15, the Apostle Paul also adds another exception to a legitimate divorce, the abandonment of an unbelieving spouse. He contends that if the unbelieving husband or wife insists on leaving, let them go. Although, unlike what Jesus said about adultery, Paul does not mention that the abandoned spouse can remarry. He spoke of allowing the unbelieving spouse to go if he/she really wants to leave, but there was no allowance for remarriage after the abandonment. In fact, he charges that the spouse should remain single or reconcile with his/her spouse (1 Corinthians 7:11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.).

It is the same with spouses (and their children) suffering abuse. The Bible does not really say anything about allowing divorce due to life-threatening circumstances to a spouse and children, but the Apostle Peter teaches that husbands should love and should live in an understanding way, showing honor to their wives as equal partners in the gracious gift of life given by God (1 Peter 3:7). God also does not allow oppression or injustice to destroy the beauty and purpose of marriage. The abusive spouse is accountable to God for how he treated his wife. This offense is not only wrong before God but is also a criminal liability in the laws of man and should be reprimanded by authorities. It would not be right to expect the abused to remain in a marriage that brings endangerment to self and children. Separation would be a very prudent course of action. 

But as to remarriage, the Bible does not say anything about it except for the allowable ones mentioned above. We cannot assume that what the Bible does not explicitly allow is acceptable, but in unclear issues such as this, it is best to seek godly counsel and pray for discernment and wisdom.

Divorce and remarriage should not be taken lightly. Biblical standards in marriage should be upheld and respected. It is important that one understands the design and purpose of marriage before pursuing it. One must be ready for marriage, not perfectly but sincerely, with biblical understanding and godly guidance.

Weddings are very memorable and hold precious memories in a person’s life. One’s wedding is a milestone worth celebrating and commemorating. This very important event pushes people to invest a lot of planning and money, while some prefer a simple, inexpensive, and intimate kind of wedding. Some struggle and work hard to make their dream wedding a reality, while some effortlessly put up an extravagant wedding out of the abundance of their wealth. But regardless of how people prepare for the wedding day, the most important moment is when the couple is legally pronounced as husband and wife. That moment is more than their just being legally bound; at the heart of it, we witness a very powerful and historical event. God has joined two lives together into one, and, most importantly, heaven approves of it. 

But to get to that point, there is highly needed preparation. It’s not about expenses, concept, theme, or the logistics of the wedding but how the engaged couple prepares for what they’re getting into. Many spend much on the grandeur of the wedding day but do not invest much in understanding and preparing the good foundations of marriage. Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with having a very expensive wedding. We just have to understand that we must also give careful attention to understanding how the marriage should be conducted, not just the moment of the wedding ceremony. 

The Bible barely talks about what should happen at the wedding ceremony, but it talks a lot about the right standards for marriage. Sadly, when people are negligent or ignorant of how important it is to know God’s will for marriage, they end up having a faulty understanding of this sacred covenant. When God’s standards for marriage are not valued, we see marriages starting to crumble under the pressure of what married life brings. It’s heartbreaking to see people throwing away marriage when things become challenging. It is sad to see an expensive wedding later end in an expensive divorce. After that, the marriage brings in so much brokenness that it seems like healing or restoration is not possible. Then comes the ugliness of a broken marriage and family that leads to divorce and remarriage. To some who do not see the intrinsic value of marriage, divorce and remarriage become a recurring trend because personal happiness becomes the defining and deciding factor in keeping or fighting for a challenged marriage. 

Jesus should be the center and foundation of marriage. If He is the Lord and Master of the husband and wife’s relationship, then working and striving for unity becomes the top priority, instead of resorting to just ending it. Like every issue in life, we often choose the comfortable and convenient path. Anything other than that is something we avoid, even if it is the right thing to do. As Jesus mandated, “What God has joined together, let no man separate.” A marriage with a godly foundation will stand the storms in life that come.

 

According to Luke 6:46-49, to claim that Jesus is Lord over your life and marriage is to obey and protect what He values. If we come to Jesus and follow His teachings about life and marriage, that is like building a strong and deep foundation. This foundation in marriage can withstand all the tests that threaten the marital bond. But sadly, when we don’t heed the standards of Jesus and just follow the deceitfulness of our own desires, emotions, and opinions, we are building a very weak foundation in marriage. 

Our Lord in marriage is not comfort, convenience, self-gain, or happiness, it is Jesus Christ. And He tells us to carry our cross daily if we want to truly follow Him. The trials in marriage are part of the cross that Christian couples carry. But as we persevere and depend upon the grace of Christ to sustain us, He gives us the strength and wisdom to deal with all the challenges. Surely, we have become more than conquerors through Christ. Rest assured that after all our hard struggles in life and marriage, and as we stay faithful to Him and His commands, Jesus will someday wipe away all our tears and sorrows. Rewards in heaven are waiting for us.